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- A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
- Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.
- Chuck Norris only allows Jackie Chan to live because he likes Chris Tucker movies.
- When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it stays broken.
- Mr. T. once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of tic-tac-toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.
- When he is alone at night, Chuck Norris likes to wear slippers with bunnies on them. Real live bunnies.
- When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands.
1 comment:
One day while filming Walker, Texas Ranger. A sheep died during production. People were sad and production came to a halt. Chuck Norris found out about the disruption in the production schedule and went over to see the dead sheep a few hours later.
Chuck took a deep breath and slowly began to breath air into the dead sheep's lungs. Amazingly the little sheep started to move! Chuck gently placed the sheep on the ground. After a few seconds and to the amazement of the Walker staff, the sheep was walking around as if nothing had ever happened.
People thought they had just witnessed a miracle! It was absolutely amazing. Men and women alike were crying tears of joy.
Then out of nowhere a roundhouse kick broke the sheeps neck. The sheeps lifeless corpse lay on the ground again, where only seconds ago Chuck had brought it back to life.
Chuck glared around at the cast, crew and production people and said one phrase before heading back to his dressing room.
"The good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh away"
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